Mum anxiety

I remember the exact feeling I had walking up to the hospital doors to get checked out. It was one of, this will never happen. My belly has got progressively bigger for 9 months and ill be in a bit of pain and then go home. Even though I really wanted to believe it, I truly never thought we would leave that hospital with a baby. I couldn't imagine someone being reliant upon me.

When I had the emergency c-section, I was so exhausted from pushing and being in labour for 2 days that I was delirious without the drugs! I remember being thankful that Gavin held her first, I was so worried that she would cry and that I wouldn't know what to do. Gav held her to my face so I could see her and she was beautiful and the fear hit me. After a while we were wheeled through to the recovery room and I don't remember but Gav says I asked "How do I hold her?". Everything was truly frightening. I was so scared of doing something wrong and being looked at funny. I spent the week in hospital worried about how I was breastfeeding her. She was putting on weight, but I found it really nerve-wracking to have a midwife check how I was doing it so often, even though I knew it was to provide help. 

Sophia's 4 month update!

Once again I am astounded how quickly this time has passed. This month is the best month I say once again. Her little personality is shining and we love her more than I can write into words. My hiatus from blogging has come because I wasn't enjoying it in the same way and I was pressuring myself to keep up to something that wasn't helping my family with income or happiness by the end. I decided to take a break until it was something I wanted to do again. I needed to find a balance in my home life and this included silly things like the ironing and cooking and cleaning and getting to grips with a teething baby. Right now feels like a good time to continue and although I would like to carry on I won't be pushing myself to do something that shouldn't be a chore. 

Sleep: Soph is sleeping from 7pm to 5-30Am on average. She has around 4 naps a day which I put her down for when she's showing the signs. 

Sophia's first two teeth and our journey

Sophia now has her first two teeth! I decided to do a post including the photo's I had taken after having a good response on Instagram. The thing is as a obsessive crazy mum, in the months of drooling I checked Google over and over for photos of teething gums. There really isn't much to look at at all. The same good photos are used over and over and they really didn't help me. They were mostly here is the tooth just popping through and here is the tooth.

The reason I was so crazy was I didn't want to give her any medication if the teeth weren't actually coming through. I didn't want to keep filling her with meds for a long period of time. In fact she was pretty unhappy and screamy for a few weeks before I started the photos and we didn't give her anything because her gums only looked and felt swollen nothing more. 

Sophia's 3 month update!

Every month I find myself writing the same thing, but last month again was better than the one before. Spending every day with her is such a privilege and I feel so lucky to be her mum. For the past week I've really let go of blogging. I don't know if it's the warmth that I've been trying to enjoy! The fact that I've been trying to get onto of daily chores myself now, reading on a nighttime or just becoming lazy. But knowing that I still needed to write this really pushed me to start again. I can't wait to read  all these back next year! I have also found it harder to keep going with instagram but the pictures I have already since her birth are amazing and i'm so glad that I have them, sometimes I just need a reminder on how important they really are too me.

Sophia's birth story part 2

So now we are to the morning of the 26th of March. It's about 4am and I've decided I need to wake Gavin up, I just can't cope alone anymore. I have a bit of a cry, need a cuddle and lay there, I think it was around 6am when gav decided to ring the hospital again, the midwife refused to talk to him only me, I said my contractions were still irregular but I was in quite a bit more pain and I couldn't sleep through the contractions. She again said I could go in but seeing as my contractions weren't regular I wouldn't be ready and I would be sent home, she suggested codeine and paracetamol. I came off the phone deflated and upset, I knew the pain had increased but it felt as though there was no end to it. My contractions were no different to 24 hours ago timing wise. To be honest this day is so much of a blur. I spent the day in and out of the bath, looking like a prune! Gav kept making me eat little bits where he could I remember chocolate and ice pops and a KFC!

Mummy and me - June

I can't believe this month is ending soon! It's gone so fast! I planned to take some 'proper' photos of the two of us for this months mummy and me post. But it just hasn't happened! Being a parent just blurs all time together! Today Sophia is 3 months old. This past month with her has been my favourite so far, her development has come on leaps and bounds and I look forward to seeing her smile each morning when she wakes me up with her moans. She has a little cheeky personality already. Here are some photos from our month together.

5 tips for getting through the poorlyness

I've been sick lots. Lasting various amounts of time, up to weeks when pregnant, finally caving with meds. But there seems to be nothing worse than being poorly and having a baby. Anyone who has children knows how deeply tiring it is to look after them and in my case she isn't even moving yet! Whoever said when they sleep you should sleep is crazy! If we did there wouldn't be a clean plate in sight! The floor would be covered in nappies and food and toys. There would be no clean clothing and your straight hair would somehow turn into a frizzy perm tangled ball that had NEVER been brushed. Even when you do try to sleep their every breath will wake you up. Somehow they can wake scream and fall back asleep. It must be to keep us on are toes! I've been sick for 3 days so far, here's 5 things that have got me through-

1. Take the help - Gav has been off work for 2/3 days so far and he has taken Soph out of the house on one day and looked after her on the other day while I went to bed or spent time alone. My mum came down on the 3rd time after I asked her to look after her for a few hours while I went back to bed again. I hate asking for help. I don't know if i'm alone but getting to take maternity leave and stay at home with her makes me feel like it's lazy to pass her off unless I need to! However I know that without resting it will take me twice as long to get better and that's twice as long I can't do everything as normal for her.

Newton and the apple - Soundwave review

Today is father's day! I wrote this up a few weeks ago but didn't want sneaky Gav to read it! I knew I wanted to get Gav something nice for his first Father's Day as every other one will probably just be a normal generic Father's Day gift. After searching around on a few different sites I had a look at notonthehighstreet. Everything is more unique on there. I found a company that will change a song that is significant to you into a sound wave format and put that into a picture. 

Newton and the apple now -£26.36

A3 Frame - ebay £8.75

Our week in photos #6

Monday - just me and baba all day dada working late 

Tuesday - dad off went to visit great nans and then off to the farm shop

Wednesday - i had to visit the doctors for the implant ugh! Then we spent the afternoon with dad

Thursday - me and soph had a crafty day making Father's Day card eventually 

Friday - we went to visit gran and great grandad who's down from Scotland for the week

Saturday - our family Father's Day. Gavs working tomorrow. We went to the farm shop too but super busy there!

Sunday - Father's Day Gavs working till 8 so he won't see soph tonight. So they had a cuddle this morning me and soph are off to grannies to check on great grandma 

Kirsty 

X

Father's day card making!

Today is our father's day. It's actually tomorrow but Gav's working (boooo) so we changed it. I knew that I wanted Soph to be invovled in her father's day cards right from birth and i'd seen some ideas across Instagram involving young babies. I wanted to make a card using her hands or feet to create a shape. My plan was to do a love heart using her feet. I wasn't sure about what to use to create this, luckily I have a crafty mother (The artistic kind, not the up-to something kind) and she did a little research into it. There are paints that are fine to use, but she came up with the idea of the ink pad. She found one called Save the moment 'Little hands, little feet' Which is sold on amazon for £7.49. 

“Little girls soften their daddies hearts”

I remember it so clear after the long hard labour that Kirsty experienced and we finally went in to hospital and she was dilated enough to start the process. It wasn’t as smooth as we hoped but we never liked to keep it simple! We were rushed to theatre and the spinal anaesthetic was given to Kirsty and the pain alleviated and she was happy, and after two failed ventouse attempts, the operation began. There was still that doubt in my mind that this wasn't real, something was going to happen that would take my little girl away from me and my heart was beating through my chest.

Photo's from swimming

On friday Gav, Soph and myself went swimming for the second time as a family to Barnsley swimming baths. The trip was a little bit harder than the first time we had gone. We set off for the baby / toddler pool opening time at 12pm. We arrived for this time, paid and went to get changed. Gav went to back to the car for her milk as I left it in a seperate bag woops! While he was gone I spoke to a lady at the photography counter. She said we could get some photo's taken, if we liked them we could buy them but we didn't have to. I agreed to get some taken and went to get changed.

Sophia OOTD #1

Now that Soph's into her 3-6 month old clothing we (or I) can really start to enjoy dressing her up! Soph stayed in easy comfy clothing almost always up until now. Here's what she's wearing today. It's cloudy but warm so I've added the thin cardi just incase. 

Our week in photo's #5

This week hasn't been great. Soph is going through her next leap (if you follow wonder weeks you'll understand) and I've been poorly for the second half of the week :( anyway here goes .... 

Monday - mommy at the dentist :( x 3! Then we visited nan and great nans too. 

Tuesday - me and soph visited grandma and met up with Elise and baby Daniel.

Wednesday - we stayed in and cleaned and sent daddy lots of annoying videos and photos of play and tummy time.

Thursday - daddy's working still so we visit jade and her lovely boys :)

Friday - swimming! And we got some lovely and expensive photos of her. 

Saturday - where it all goes pear shaped. Gavin took soph for the day so I could exercise / clean / sleep. But I end up poorly. 

Sunday - I literally spend the day moping about. I am still poorly! Ready to get back to normal.

Kirsty

X

A little playmate

Today Sophia & I went to my mums to meet up with Elise and little Daniel. I say little he's 5 weeks old and the same weight as 10 week old soph! We had a chat about all baby things and them too slept. Elise stayed for three hours and they were asleep for 2 and a half of that! Only sleep when you want them awake lol. Here's some photo's from that sneaky half hour.

Our week in photo's #4

Monday - daddy's day off / family day

Tuesday - visit to granny's & playing with uncle bob

Wednesday - mummy and daughter & went for a walk and visit to the shops 

Thursday - sunny day, sitting in the garden together & visit from grandad

Friday - 10 weeks old 

Saturday - visit grans for the day 

Sunday - great grandma w came to visit and we visit great nans 

Kirsty

X

Family bucket list '15/'16

There's so many different things I think all parents dream about doing when starting a family. I decided to write up a bucket list for this year and next. It has a year and a half in as we are already nearly half way through the year and Soph is only 2 months old now which is restricting in what we can do as a family. Here we go! These are literally in any random order -

30 minutes in the sun

It's 4pm. We waited until the sun was going a little. I lather you in sun cream 10 minutes before, you smile the whole time. I run upstairs and grab your swimming hat. It covers your neck and face which is great. It's 3-6 months and barely fits. You are only 9 weeks old. I take out the plastic sheet we got you for when your weaning and throwing your food around the room. I take your dragonfly toy outside too. Then I take you out, you lay there smiling. The squeak button on the dragonfly is really tickling you today and we have some cuddles before you finally get upset and hungry and want to come inside. 

Things I said I'd never do

Sophia is two months old now and as a first time mum I've come to realise that a lot of what I had planned to be or do was unrealistic. We have tried to stick to lots of the goals we set ourselves but sometimes we have to let go of the idea of being a perfect parent just to get through the day.

1. Not using a dummy. 

I really didn't want to use a dummy. There's a few reasons. I felt it would be hard to get her to stop using it when she is older. It's hard to keep them clean. I don't really like the look of them! I didn't want to become reliant apon them. 

Our week in photo's #3

Monday - relaxing day & a visit from grandad

Tuesday - first ever swimming session!

Wednesday - 2 months old 

Thursday - play date with gorgeous Brody 

Friday - 9 weeks old. Celebrated with 2 month injections.

Saturday - visited gran and grandad for the day.

Sunday - sat in my big girl chair waiting for  dad to wake up after finishing his nights working.